This is a fine mess
by The Tired TF2 Class
Summary: By the look of things, 3 Special Infected got themselves into the world of Soul Eater somehow. Will they be able to survive long enough to understand what the fuck is happening, or will they die like a bunch of idiots? Rated M for Blood, Language, and some sexual harassment. Sorry, no sex here, can't do dat.
1. Chapter 1

**Well, looks like I'm making another story. This one is a Soul Eater and Left 4 Dead (preferably l4d2) crossover. I'm just going with what I'm thinking right now, so please don't leave a flame or any of that crap. Now, here are a few other notes that I wanted to add that is for my own entertainment.**

**1. The L4D2 Smoker, Hunter, and Charger will be the protagonists of the story (Don't know if this has been used or not, let me know).**

**2. The majority of what happens to the group when they enter the Soul Eater universe is easily found in the Steam Workshop. Yeah, I know there's a Workshop in Steam that does stuff to the games that are bought in Steam, Left 4 Dead 2 is one of them. **

**3. The group will have slight enhanced abilities and other effects. I mean come on, Soul Eater. It has like a way where people sometimes jumps pretty high and others are really strong.**

**4. The group will start acting more human than zombie like, like talking, thinking, etc. Why else did I make them the protagonists? **

**5. When the group starts talking (which is instant), they will have familiar voices from other things (Which is also achieved by the Steam Workshop). The Smoker will have the TF2 Sniper's Voice, the Hunter will have the TF2 Scout's voice, and the Charger will have the voice of Jontron (the Jontron Charger was also a surprise to me when I found it in the workshop)**

**6. The group will have certain cosmetics or clothes. The Smoker would wear baggy pants and a scarf, the Charger would have a metal plate cover his left arm and would wear a cowboy hat, and the Hunter will have his mouth replaced with a metal one.**

**7. The reskin of the group AFTER they enter the S.E. universe is the "Absolute Zero" addon for the group. It's another type of addon in the Workshop. What it does is obviously recolors the Special Infected, but with their Clothes being black, their skin is very dark blue, and has glowing red eyes. **

**8. ****And finally, how they look in teh anime... like # 6 & 7, they are already notified of their appearance, but if I were to pick what they would look like in the anime, I would pick IsisMasshiro's drawn version of the L4D2 group. IsisMasshiro is basically a guy in deviantART who managed to catch my eye on his work of the L4D section. You should check it out, mostly to help you a bit to what the S.I. group would look like in Soul Eater or any other anime.**

**Jesus, I just wasted more than 400 words on the introduction before even begining the story. FU-**

**Anyways, let's start this fricken story already.**

**I do not own L4d2, Soul Eater, or anything else.**

-Chapter 0: Prologue-

Jesus. That took a LONG time, but we managed to get our prey...

Ahh, right... introductions are in order.

I'm the Smoker... Long tounge, smoke bag, all those stuff the survivors call us... I need to lay off those cigarettes.

Right, as said earlier... Hunter, Charger, and I managed to get our prey, which were 3 survivors... don't know who they were, but doesn't matter now.

One of them almost had me if I didn't grab a sword nearby and chopped off his head. I was surprised to have the strength to wield a sword, but when I looked at it, it was a pretty thin blade, which is probably why it was light.I decided to keep it, knowing that it had saved me life.

The other two looked at me, confused why I was holding the weapon, but when I told them why, they decided not to bother about it.

The three of us were like brothers, and to think about it, maybe we were before this... infection, but we all thought the same thing of the brothers idea. We never exactly seperate to far from each other, so yeah.

We were in one of those rooms in a tall building, relaxing a bit on some chairs, when I heard some rumbling. I decided to check it out, but when I looked out side, all I saw was just raining. My guess is that there was Thunder, and possible lightening. I then got back to my seat. The three of us talked the usually, through growling and grunting... we weren't able to learn any words, but we got the handle of communication. Trying to speak something like a normal person... we still haven't been able to try it yet.

Suddenly,.we heard an explosion, only to realize that it was by the window. We got off of our chairs, and looked at the smoke. When it reached us, something was wrong. We were... starting to pass out. I tried to keep my eye opened, but soon, I passed out too.

-Chapter 1-

Later...

When I woke up, the first thing I notice was that we were in a town. Great, would who decided to take us on? But when I looked around, I realized that this wasn't normal. Looking at the sky, It was morning, but what surprised me was a giant face on the sun, literally laughing... yep, this is not normal at all. I decided to check on the other two, when I noticed something, my skin and clothes... they were different. No, they still looked like the clothes from before, but the color was different, black. I then noticed my skin, showing that it was dark blue. When I looked at Charger and Hunter, I also saw them having the same colors, black clothes and dark blue skin.

Somehow during our sleep, we must have went through some... THING, I don't know what, but right now, I need to figure things out, and fast.

"Oi!" I said, and for the first time, I surprised myself. I managed to speak! But I don't know if I'm the only one. Soon, the two started to wake up, and similar to my time, they looked at eachother, themselves, and the sky, mostly the laughing sun.

"What?" They both asked, now grabbing their mouths from serious surprise. So they too can speak. By the sound of our voices, I seem to sound like I'm from Australia, Hunter sounds like a Boston Teenager, and Charger... he's hard to tell what his voice sounds like, but at least it's something I can understand. What startled me a bit, and the two as well, was the fact that I noticed our eyes were colored red, and were slightly glowing. One thing's for sure, that shit is menacing.

"... So, what do you think we should do?" Hunter asked, and since no one came up with any ideas, I decided to speak up.

"Well, one thing is for sure, we're not in our own world." I stated, causing the to to be slightly surprised.

"Is it because of our appearance and the fricking sun's face?" Charger asked, pointing his finger at the sun.

"Well, that's two parts. Another is the fact that there isn't any of the common infected." I answered, which the two agreed.

"So, what do you think brought us here?" Hunter asked, a bit annoyed for not understanding what's going on.

"Well I have two ideas. 1 Is that SOMEONE from this world decided to bring the 3 of us here." I suggested.

"And the second idea?" Charger asked, a bit curious.

"The second idea is that the explosion from earlier was some kind of accident that brought us here." I answered.

"... You think that coming here did something else to us?" Hunter asked, and now I looked at him.

"Well, besides looking different by color, what do you think?" I asked, wanting to know what he's talking about.

"I mean, you're the weakest in our world, but what about here?" Hunter asked. I growled a bit at him for calling me weak, but he did have a point. I was considered a weak special infected who's only use it to drag people with my rediculously long tounge. Here, this is another thing.

"Hmm... any suggestions?" I asked, and soon, Hunter was in front of me. I wasn't sure what he's thinking, but god dammit, he's too close.

"Pick me up." Hunter said, and I was completely confused.

"What?" I asked.

"Pick me up. In our world, you could barely pick up a crowbar." Hunter stated. I decided to hell with it and give this idea a shot. When I picked up Hunter, he felt... light. Holy shit.

"God Damn, that's some good strength right there." Hunter said, giving me a thumbs up. I laced his down, and looked at my bloated arm. I decided to poke one of the tumors, and what do you know, their as hard as stone, or steel or... whatever, their pretty tough. I then checked my unaltered skin (besides the blue skin of course), and noticed that it's slightly harder than normal flesh, but that doesn't mean that my regular skin is as tough as the tumors on me.

When Charger and Hunter had a chat, I decided to look around a bit, just to figure out where are we in this world. I looked everywhere, but as far as I know, we're probably in Italy. When I was about to get back to the group, I looked to my right, only to see a bike coming by. The driver was a teen with white hair, red colored eyes, and has some bandana over his head or something. The other one with the boy was a girl with green eyes, pigtails, and a school girl dress under that trench coat. Hey, being a Smoker has it's advantages. When they passed by, in a SPLIT second, I noticed that the girl saw me, and had a face of surprise, but she couldn't get to me since she's on the bike, and went away.

... Shit, we're gonna need some disguise or something. I'm surprised that the girl was the only person in this god damn town that actually noticed me, jesus. I got back to Hunter and Charger, and soon, I spoke up to get their attention.

"Hey guys, we'll need some disguise to pass by the people here. Don't exactly want to make a scene." I suggested, and surprisingly, Charger has something with him.

"Way ahead of you brother, this shit'll help." Charger said, giving me what looks like a cloak. Don't know how or why he had these, but it seems that this is the best that we can do. When we got them on, every single part of our body parts were cover, I can't even see Hunter and Charger's faces. The only flaw there is is the glowing red eyes... we might as well keep the hoods over our eyes, and hope that we don't get caught or something.

We decided that our course of action would be to pass the town by walking on the roof tops of the buildings, and it has helped us out. But later, I soon came to see the two I saw earlier, but it seems that they got surrounded.

"Hey guys." I said, getting the two's attention.

"What is it Smoker?" Hunter asked, next to me, and Charger as well. We had to lie on the roof to keep ourselves hidden from their eyes.

"I've seen those two earlier on a bike. The girl was the one who spotted me, and is probably the only one who noticed me at all." I said quietly, and what surprised me next was the fact that the boy beaten every single guy down there, and he was shorter than all of them! Jesus, he must have some strength to hand a group in that number. We then decided to follow the two, but when it reached night, we decided to head to the church. Not inside, but close enough to hear the bell. Sor some reason, it's... soothing to me.

But what caught my attention was a loud slash nearby. When I looked, I noticed it was the same girl, holding a... Scythe? Where the hell did she get that? This I have to see. When I got closer, I noticed that she dropped the sythe, but for the sythe to turn into the same boy who was driving the bike. Jesus, what type of world are we in anyways? I stayed out of their sights, jsut so that we don't get ourselves caught and into a fight quickly. I then noticed a shock in the girl's eyes, but wasn't looking at my direction... she must be sensing something, but what? Well, I got the answer when the girl looked at the church. I looked at it too, and for some reason, there's something going on there. The two went to the church by their bike, when I got to Hunter and Charger.

"Hey guys." I said, getting their attention. Hunter grunted a bit, while Charger asked, "What is it?"

"We're going to the church." I answered, and this confused them. During the entire time, I then remembered the sword I had, and looked back. The sword was still there, but it was colored black with blue veins on it. Man, shit just keeps getting stranger by the minute.

"What's the reason. We have no reason to go there." Hunter said, before getting up.

"Wait, did you see the two again?" Charger asked, remembering the two kids.

"Yeah, and for some reason, the girl somehow felt something off about the church, or something inside." I responded.

"Well, we'll go, but if there's going to be a fight, and you decide to jump into the action, don't count me in." Hunter said, and that response made me glare at him, but decided to ignore it. The three of us got to the church, and soon, I noticed that the bike was here, but not the kids. They must have entered the church already. I then climbed up to the roof, and saw a window nearby, giving me a good view of the room. Hunter and Charger managed to get to my position, and now we see what's going on.

We see the girl holding the scythe at the entrance, but at the other side, we see a boy in a single piece of clothe that covers all of his body besides his head. The boy also wore shoes and gloves, had pink ha- wait, what's going on?

I noticed that the boy was screaming, and soon, some black shit came out of his back.

"Holy Fuck!" Charger yelled in surprise, and surprisingly, no one besides me and Hunter heard Charger. Soon that black stuff started to form into some muscle head with X's on his face. I was literally shocked by the process. A mere human wouldn't have survived that ordeal, but this kid...

Soon the muscle freak then turned into a sword, and now the fight began. When the girl blocked the first attack, she was about to slash at the bpinked haired boy, but SURPRISE, it didn't even dig into his skin. I then saw something dripping. At first I thought it was blood, but the color... black? WHAT?!

After knowing that this freaky kid has black blood, things got really intense for the girl. She was getting her ass kicked, and soon, she had her back on the door now. I couldn't just...

"... Fuck it. Charger, break throughthe front door, I'm going in." I said, before breaking the glass, and ending up landing on the floor. I had my blade ready, looking at the Pink haired boy, and yelled, "OI!" It got is attention. Thankfully, I was still in my cloak, so they don't know what I look like yet.

"W-Who are you?" The boy asked, looking at me, slightly surprised. Soon, he started running towards me, and was about toslash at me, but I blocked it with my bloated arm, still covered in the cloak of course. Somehow I'm surprised that my bloated arm managed to block his sword, but I can feel that fricking blade dig into my flesh. Jesus fuck, this is getting painful.

Soon, the front door broke open, and Charger came in the scene. "I'm going in hard, out of my fucking way!" Charger yelled, and I managed to jump to safety while the boy got tackled, and soon man-handled by Charger. Charger started pounding the boy to the ground a bit, wanting to know if it did anything. While he did his thing, I decided to check on the girl. She looked very surprised, and was barely able to stand on her legs.

"Hey, it's alright, I'm not going to hurt you." I said, but it seems that it didn't help, still seeing the frightened look on her face. She was about to say something, but...

"FUCK!" Charger yelled as he fell on his ass, leaving the boy to attack the girl. But I didn't let this go unaltered. Instead of the girl being sliced by this kid, I got in the way, taking the blow through the chest. Lots of blood was seen, and before I knew it, I passed out. The last thing I saw was Charger grabbing me and making a run for it...

**To Be Continued...**

**Jesus that took a while to finish, but thank god I did. Well, I hope that you enjoyed this, and have a good day!**

**Chapter made - January 6th, 2015**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello there. Here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy this.**

**I don't own L4D2, Soul Eater, or any other piece of shit that is out there.**

-Chapter 2-

Smoker's P.O.V.

I was starting to wake up, but just barely. One time, I still see Charger carrying me, the next, I'm in some abandoned house. The one thing that woke me up instantly was the pain that is on my chest.

"JESUS FUCK!" I yelled, holding my chest in pain. I looked down on my chest, noticing that I wasn't in my cloak now. I see that my chest had a cut across, and I soon remember what happened. Jesus, that pink haired boy knows how to swing hard. I then looked at my left arm, and I noticed that there is no damage on it. Huh, seems that I can heal my arm fast, but my chest doesn't look any diff- wait. I then realized that my bloated parts are probably the only parts that heal faster. Well, why else did my arm recover and my chest didn't? I then noticed that Charger came into the scene, and he threw my cloak at me.

"Hey, glad you're up. You've been out for 2 Fucking Days." He said, a bit annoyed. He.. wait, WHAT?

"2 DAYS, ARE YOU SHITTING ME?" I asked before getting up, and putting my cloak on. When I got it on, I noticed that it has a hole... mostly in a shape of a slash across the chest.

"... I'll need a new one soon." I suggested, knowing that it could cause some attention. If I remember correctly, the kids at the Church (Maka, Soul, Crona, and Ragnorok, don't know if I spelt that correctly) were the only ones to witness the cut across my chest. The Pink haired kid might attack me again if I see him again, but the girl and the scythe boy... all I can say is that the two might have a different approach. I then noticed that Hunter wasn't around, so I had to ask where he is.

"He told me that he'll be following the girl from earlier." Charger said, and from that, I looked very worried.

"Does he know what the hell is going on in this world?" I asked, only for Charger to look at me, eyebrow raised, and ask, "Do you?" That question had me silent, but soon we went to find where Hunter went. It took us a while, but we managed to find him... in a desert. Why in the desert?

"Hey Hunter, why are we in the middle of the god damn desert?" I asked, only for him to point at what appears to be a giant city, with a type of building on the top that has some... weird decorations on it. I do remember Charger saying that Hunter followed the kids, and it led us here. So by far, it seems that they live in that city.

"Well, we haven't come all this way for nothing, we should get in that city before night fall... don't want to sleep in the damn sand." I said before walking to the city, Charger and Hunter close behind me. An hour later, we got in the city, and when I looked at a nearby clock, Oh boy was I an idiot. It's not even Noon, Shit! But it also means that I have some time in searching for the kids. But first...

"Hunter, I need you to search for somewhere where we can live in. Anywhere, as long as it's away from people's attention. Charger... go with Hunter, make sure he doesn't do anything that'll get us in trouble." I said. Hunter was off easily, and before Charger left, he said, "I'm pretty sure you're the one who got us in trouble the last time."

"Shut up." I said, only to realize that I'm by myself. Ah fucking great, talking to myself. Well, no sense in standing around and do nothing, got to start looking for those kids.

Later...

It's nearly 4 pm, and there is still no sign of the kids, nor Hunter and Charger. One thing is for sure, I can't find these kids without being spotted, hell, I haven't even ASKED anyone here for help. Jesus, seems that I need to talk more often, but my appearance would most likely try to kill me. But it seems that luck was on my side at this minute, because I see the two kids walking to their home, or something like that. Seems like this is a good chance to get to them. Knowing that I have my cloak on, and the chest wound, they might know me from 2 days ago. I was on my way to get to the two, when I got knocked down by a kid with spiky blue hair. I still had my cloak over my face, so I was still safe from prying eyes, but this kid was literally on me for fuck sake. He was speaking too loud for me to understand what he was saying. I then noticed that the girl with pigtails and green eyes was walking behind the kid on me and then...

"MAKA CHOP!"

The girl literally chopped the kid's head with a book, getting him off of me. I soon got up, and looked at the girl.

"I'm sorry about that, Black Star has the hab-" the Girl then realized who she was talking too, and had a face of surprise. I soon started having a bad feeling about this, and started walking away slowly. The girl noticed this, and said, "Please, we don't mean you harm, but... what are you?" Yup, this is more complicating for me to handle than I first thought.

"... Uh hey." I started, not able to handle being in a crowd. I kept looking around myself, feeling like I'm being watched or some shit. Seriosuly, I was getting nervous about galking to a teenage girl. Imagine that!

"Uh, listen, why not you come to our place? It's probably better to have this conversation there." The girl suggested, and I looked at her. Even if she doesn't see my face, she could tell I have a look of confusion on my face.

"Are you serious Maka? We already have to deal with Blair in our apartment, now this stranger?" The boy asked, and by his tone, he seems annoyed. Well, talk about trying to be welcoming. Soon, the two were talking to each other quietly, hell I could barely hear the two. Soon, they decided to bring me to their place. I was nervous at first, but well, might as well go with it. When we got to their place, which was considered an apartment, I noticed how the place was, and it seems pretty welcoming.

"Hiya guys!" A seductive voice was heard... okay, maybe less welcoming. Soon, I see a... cat walking towards us, with a witch's hat... what?

Soon there was a puff of smoke, and what reveals to us is a girl with some serious clothing problems. I mean, just a bra and panties, and a small jacket... I've never seen a perfect 10 to a perfect 0 this quickly... is this real life? Soon, this girl with clothing problems started hugging the boy, which his name is Soul, with his head between this girls breasts, and I have to say, if this is a normal thing, with the boy trying to get her off and failing, I'll need to do something about that. Then Maka chops Soul's head with a book, which I don't understand why Soul had to get hit in the head when he didn't do much of anything but only get tackled and bearhugged by a nearly nude girl... right now, I don't know what right or wrong here.

"Sorry about that." Maka said, before she brought me to the couch. I sat on one side, while Maka sat on the other, and she's now aware that I'm still in the cloak.

"Why don't you take it off? I mean, I know we've met two days ago, your torn up cloak is proof." She said, and she hasa point about us meeting 2 days ago, but take off the cloak? That I knew was going to happen, but I was very nervous about it.

"Come on, what the worse that could happen?" She asked. I sighed, and looked at her.

"Fine, but please don't try to kill me or anything like it." I said, and she looked confused as to why I said that. She then nodded, and I grabbed my hood. She then notice my right hand, which was blue skin, an didn't know what else to expect. When I took my hood off, she had a face that literally surprised her off the couch. Seriously, she fell off the damn couch because of what my face looked like. I still had the same face, my right half being normal while my left being bloated, a long tounge sticking out, somehow managed to stay hidden in the cloak. The only thing I wasn't use to was the blue skin and red eyes.

"What the hell?" Maka asked, to surprised and scared to move. I looked to see that Maka is the only one noticing me... jesus christ, is Maka literally the only one that pays attention? Maka looked really scared right now, and I don't know what to do, but I got up, and started to walk away, only for Maka to get up, and grab my arm.

"What do you want?" I asked, looking at her now. She shivered a bit, but son started getting a bit of confidence, and asked, "What is your name?" Well, if she wants to know my name, she'll at least have it.

"My name is Smoker." I answered, still wondering why she was still holding my arm. She soon lets go, but I didn't move from there. For some reason, I wanted to know what it is like to talk to the average person.

"What happened to your face?" She asked, now sitting on the couch. I decided to sit on the couch next to her.

"Let's say that I'm not from here." I answered, getting a confused look from her. I then took my cloak completely off, and now she sees my bloated arm. She was very surprised, but before she could ask, I lifted my hand, silencing Maka.

"I'm from a place where the entire world is populated with... infected." I started, and she looked surprised from the answer. I then continued...

Later...

It took me 35 fucking minutes to explain what I am, where I came from, etc. She was very surprised the whole way. And thankfully, her friends, Soul and Blair, listened as well, but it took me 5 minutes to handle their reactions. Soul was aggressive towards me for some reason, while Blair in her cat form just looked at me before sitting on my head. But one thing is for sure, these guys seems nice, just has some weird personalities. Soon, I noticed that Maka was staring at me, and I looked at Soul, and asked, "Why is she staring at me?"

"She seems to be trying to look at your soul or something." He answered, and I looked at Maka again.

When Maka looked into my soul, she saw that my soul was dark blue, and had a bit of my face, but only less detailed. She seems to have been trying to see my personality, but by the look of her face, not much luck there or something.

"Hey, you alright?" I asked her, only for her to jump a bit. She then calmed down, and looked at the clock. 5:45.

"Well, looks like Soul should start making dinner right now." Maka said, a bit annoyed from Soul not doing it, and soon he left to get dinner started. When I looked at my chest, which for the record I had my cloak off, I see that my chest has barely healed, which seems normal in human standards. I placed my hand on the cut across my chest, and it barely hurt for some fucking reason which I don't even know. Maka then noticed my chest, and when I looked at her, she seems... depressed or something.

"Is something wrong?" I asked her. She then looked at me for a bit before looking downwards.

"I'm sorry for what happened..." She said. It struck me that she feels upset for what happened two days ago at the church. I sighed a bit, and placed my hand on her shoulder. She then looked at me, slightly confused.

"Hey, don't feel upset, I chose to intervene for my own reasons." I said, smiling a bit. Yes, I had my reasons for why I got myself involved, mostly because she was out matched and was most likely going to die by that kid, if it wasn't for me to be the idiot. Maka cllsed her eyes for a bit, then smiled, and looked at me.

"Now, I need to ask; what do you do anyways?" I asked, only to realize that I'm now in a much bigger situation than I first thought...

Later (again)...

Let's say that the last hour even through dinner, which was fried fish, that this world is what I can say a very weird one. This DWMA, which stands for Death Weapon Meister Academy or some shit like that, is basically an academy of students and teachers, even fucking Death himself, who makes sure that the world does not fall into madness which is caused my these "Kishins". They are basically people who lost their humanity and went on eating innocent souls to gain power to become the most powerful Kishin to spread the madness, and I have to say, that shit's fucked up, and I'm glad to meet Maka rather than "those" guys. I also learned that there are Witches involved, and I doubt it's the witches I know.

"Thank you guys for letting me in here and having a good time, but I must be off." I said as I got off of the chair. Maka looked at me, wondering why I'm leaving. I then realized that I haven't mentioned Hunter and Charger. Dammit.

"Oh, of course. I forgot to tell you I have some friends to meet up with." I said, and now she understands thankfully, and I soon left the place. Now I have to do a few things. I need to find Hunter and Charger, find a place to hide out, and meet this Lord Death in person... in order of course.

**To Be Continued...**

**esus this took awhile as well, but knowing that I wish to try making long chapters, and around 2-3 k words is a pretty long chapter, I'll stick with that.**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**


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